Zippy Goes to Wall Street.
(originally posted 13 June 2010)
Zippy and I were swimming upstream against the swarm of tourists when we emerged from the subway station. As Zippy posed for a photo, a man looked at us warily while he took a drag from his cigarette.
Though the buildings in the financial district loomed over us, it was a relatively shorter church that caught Zippy’s eye.
“What is that? A religious institution nestled amongst these financial edifices?”
“Yes, Zippy,” I said, wondering how an arthropod could have such a well developed English vocabulary. Did he speak like this in his native tongue? Had he also mastered Tamil while he was in India? “That is Trinity Church. It is one of the oldest churches in the country. That is actually the third rebuilding of the church; the first church was built in 1698. So it’s actually older than the United States.”
“Photography is not your forte, is it,” Zippy said as he looked at the photograph I had captured.
“Hey!” I exclaimed. “Look, the sun is behind you, there are people trying to get around me, and—”
“I was just making an observation,” he said. I, of course, knew he was correct.
We walked along Wall Street, his claws clacking loudly as we made our way against the tide of people. The crowds looked at him resting on my shoulder and wisely gave us a wide berth.
“There,” I said, “is the New York Stock Exchange. It is the world’s largest stock exchange and billions of dollars are traded there every day.”
“It’s a patriotic institution, isn’t it,” Zippy commented. “It is my understanding that much of America is actually irate with large businesses on the Stock Exchange. Many individuals believe they were financially misled and that these agents behaved in an irresponsible fashion—”
“Yes,” I interrupted. “A lot of people are pissed at Wall Street. But it’s not fair to label all of them as selfish. Look at some of those day traders: They’re carrying boxes of pizzas around and they’re smoking like a pack of cigarettes on their 15 minute break. Some of them are just trying to make it, too.”
Zippy’s mandible opened slightly.
“What? Am I being too sympathetic again?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, scuttling forward without me.
“Now that’s Federal Hall,” I said, pointing at the building. “That was the site of the original capitol of the United States. That’s also where President George Washington took his oath when he became the first President. I don’t think that’s the actual building though; I think the original building was destroyed.”
“George Washington has shapely legs,” Zippy said. “Do you think he ate hot dogs? I can eat hot dogs, too, though I generally prefer worms.”
After a moment of silence, I said, “You’re weird.”
“Is everything in New York oversized?” Zippy asked. “Recall that oversized lobster in Times Square. All the buildings here seem larger than life. And now look at the size of this watch!”
“Some people in New York like their bling,” I said. “And they want everyone else to see their bling.”
“Perhaps you can select a souvenir for me from this fine establishment,” Zippy said.
“Uh, I don’t have that kind of money, Zippy,” I said. “I don’t even know if I could splurge on cubic zirconia for you.”
“Are you not employed as a shrink?” Zippy countered. “Don’t you have a lush private practice office somewhere on this wealthy island with your own designer analysis sofa so people can free associate and share the darkest secrets of their ids with you for a mere $600 per session?”
I laughed. “Not all shrinks work in cushy offices on Park Avenue,” I explained. “Though many shrinks here do have their own private practice in New York City, I’m not one of them. I’ve chosen to work with people in, uh, lower socioeconomic strata. That’s just my preference.”
“Ah,” the lobster replied. “Do you think that people reading about my visit here have the means to donate a dollar or two towards my fundraising efforts?
“I don’t know,” I honestly replied. “But! I can say that if everyone who follows you on Twitter or follows me on Twitter donated one dollar each, we would surpass the $2000 mark on your donation page.”
“That would be splendid!” Zippy said, wiggling his swimmerets.
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Peggikaye
